We make better games, better food, bigger houses, bigger cars, toilets that don't powerwash your anus, stories that do not involve androgynous teenagers, porn that you can talk about in public, better music, better television, better cartoons, better comics, and an alphabet that is roughly 4000 characters shorter than japs.

God bless America, and may weaboo fags learn that Japanese people hate them as much as other Americans do.

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Coauthoring with TheMillz, comes a game about killing yourself to kill others! It's looking great so far, with 10 levels planned and 3 boss fights in the works. The objective is to infect your enemies with bloodstones (cursed voodoo objects) and then kill yourself, just like a voodoo doll anything done to you will instead happen to the infected individual(s), and afterwards you'll revive completely unharmed. With dozens of different ways to off yourself, including sawblades, acid pits, and even bringing a toaster into a bathtub, it's sure to be a hit. :D

I don't know... My friend claims to have been chasing a UFO with his fishing boat, and he gave me this picture as proof. I don't want to go ahead and call him a liar, because I can't fairly say his picture isn't legit.

So Newgrounds, does this look shopped?

There's a guy I saw that had a seemingly brand-new Challenger I Ultralight parked on some blocks around a public hanger with a note attached to it. Being the curious cat that I am, approached the plane and read the note.

"Challenger Ultralight for sale, call me if you're interested"

He listed his phone number right underneath it, I called him, and guess how much we bargained for.

$5800

So I'm in a hurry and frantic about buying this plane. It's always been my dream to own an airplane, and what's awesome is that there's a flight school near me with low priced classes. What's more? For an ultralight you don't need a lisence, so if I buy this, I can probably fly it the week after. So right now, I'm working on 3 different flash projects to try to raise money. $800 in the bank, 5000 more to go. Damn, dreams can come true.

THE FUCKING HARD DRIVE HAD SOME SORT OF FUCKING SYSTEM ERROR WHICH DID SOME HORRID FAGGOTRY TO MY MOTHER BOARD SO NOW I'M ON A FUCKING BIGGER HARD DRIVE (SOME GOOD CAME OUT OF IT I GUESS) BUT THEN THE MOTHER BOARD DIED OR SOME SHIT SO NOW I'M ON A BRAND NEW HARD DRIVE AND MOTHER FUCKING BOARD BECAUSE OF THE DAMN THING IS SO BUGGY WTF?!?!?!

all caps

and it makes me sad, because deep down I know that spamming with disguised goatse threads is wrong...

Seriously, every other website I've been to that allows forum posts and/or blog posts, including things like DeviantArt and MySpace, any kind of politically incorrect blog post will generate mass butthurt and result in 100s of comments daily, and a slew of unfunny puns and insults. I did start out as a troll when I came to Newgrounds to be honest, as you can tell by reading some old forum posts. But after finding out who the Newgrounds community were, I restricted myself to trolling those that spend the time to read boring blog posts that have little or no effect on your lives; I'm talking about you, faggot.

Anyways, if you disregard the last statement, you can agree that blog posts do not get enough exposure to the Newgrounds community to generate sufficient lulz. As much as this ruins any chance of trolling while avoiding ban, Newgrounds needs to stay this way.

"Seriously", as EyeLovePoozy would start this sentence, we don't give a shit about how you're hamster died, or you're working on some shitty game that no one will ever play more than once. If you post without reading the entire page here you are a faggot. Just throwing that out there. Now back to the subject at hand. Why don't you guys just come up to speed with reality and realize that writing in a blog was meant for trolling or attention-whoring.

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John wrote blogs about how tight it was chilling with Jesus at the the penny arcades every Thursday, and you know why people gave a shit about them? Because they had something interesting to say, and had a right to write in a blog for reasons other than the need for atinshun which so many bloggers today fap to. So until you guys hang out with Jesus at the roller rink, or borrow your Arab friend's 40 virgins from heaven for the weekend, don't write about yourself in a blog.

Read any of these articles you choose, if you are a TL;DR person, just read one an argue with that.

Military

Face it: war is inevitable, and seeing as China and Russia are rebuilding their armies, and are actually lying about the amount of money they have spent on their military, worries me into thinking they might try something... As we know already, China and Russia have been invading smaller countries around them (Georgia, Tibet etc.) and the U.S. has threatened to intervene, but has not done so.

My main fear has to do with the fact that the United Nations or European Union will be forced into intervention, which could result in retaliation. This could start a war, that will escalate like WWI and WWII did, and eventually the U.S.A. will be forced into war. His economy plans are also flawed, and his environmental ideas are stupid and unobtainable.

Obama has no military experience, and being one who wants to cut defense spending, will fuck up our chances of defending against China's nearly equal (soon superior) militaristic powers. He is against our second amendment rights, meaning that we as citizens will be completely defenseless if our reduced military fails to ward off an invasion; this was one of the main reasons the 2nd Amendment was conceived in the first place.

I don't trust Obama, having marginal experience as a politician, to be able to negotiate his way out of a war, and without military experience, be able to fight it. Most people do not even know what he stands for, and even if you think you voted for him because you knew his policies, a majority of America is a sack of impressionable dipshits: they voted for him, because he was black.

Economy Plan

Sucks ass. He wants to drill more oil from our reserves? Guess what you little shit, we're saving those for an oil CRISIS, this is not a crisis, it's a flux. Oil prices are already back down to $2-3 a gallon, and forcing companies to drill oil on our own land will do nothing for the economy. It will create more supply and less demand, sending gas prices spiraling down to nothing, increasing oil usage and becoming completely counter-productive to his environmental plans.

It's shit. I don't trust you. McCain wasn't much of a better choice, but at least he had experience and could be trusted to lead us to peace; even if through conflict.

Socialism

The Union of American Socialist Republics (UASR), sounds pretty cool doesn't it? Taking ludicrous amounts of money from the rich and giving it to the people who are capable but refuse to contribute anything to the world. Sounds like communism to me, this "Distribution of Wealth" is bullshit. Social health care? You mean make those people who spend 100s of 1000s on their education to become doctors, become government employees who make 50,000 a year? BULLSHIT. We're capitalistic, how the fuck can you pursue happiness with an allotted wealth cap on you?

My 2 cents on my own doomed country...

I don't know... My friend claims to have been chasing a UFO with his fishing boat, and he gave me this picture as proof. I don't want to go ahead and call him a liar, because I can't fairly say his picture isn't legit.

So Newgrounds, does this look shopped?